Goodbye, Warm Chocolate Chip Cookies Dipped in Ice Cream.

Today is the day.

I am getting married in 6 months and 7 days.
Time to start shedding for the wedding.

Yeah, sure, I said that about 6 months ago when I actually got engaged, but don't judge me.  Working out is hard and cake is yummy.  This time, I mean it.  I need to get this weight off.  I don't want to look through my wedding photos and try to choose them based on the ones I look least fat in. 

Did that with my engagement party, did not enjoy it.

My wedding gown is going to be ready to be picked up in July.  This means I have about three months at most to lose the weight.  How much weight, you ask?  A whole lot of weight.

I weigh about 206 lbs.  Yeah, you read that right.  206.  Like, two-hundred-and-six pounds. 

In case you didn’t know- here are some things that weigh LESS than me…
An overweight male red kangaroo
A fat fallow deer
A 40 gallon cast-iron cook pot
A middle aged ostrich
A pot-belly pig.  Are you hearing this?
Two bloodhounds.  TWO!
The complete Oxford English Dictionary set.  I weigh only 60 pounds more than that.

PLUS-------------
Arnold Schwarzenegger weighs only 29 pounds more than I do.
Please, allow that to sink in .

I would like to lose about 60+ lbs.

That, in case you were wondering, is the average size of an elephant’s penis.  TMI?  It’s nature.  I can say ‘YESSSSSSS!  I have officially lost an elephant’s penis’ and if that is not motivation enough to lose the weight, I don’t know what is.